Slice like a ninja squirrel cut like a razor blade so fast.

Today a squirrel fell out of a tree and landed on my head. Ok it didn't quite land on my head... it landed on the ground next to me but it felt like it landed on my head. And what I'm learning in my fancy master's classes is that it is very important to listen and consider the client's feelings. Perhaps I fabricated this fact. Nevertheless, in this situation, I am the client and I felt as though the squirrel landed on my head.
Anyways, so this squirrel falls out of a tree and lands on my head. It was not a hallucination. There really was a falling squirrel. And do you know what happened to this squirrel when it fell? Nothing. Because it died. This makes me reminisce about the Black Squirrel [read previous post] and whether the Black Squirrel met a similar fate. Falling out of trees and dying? Squirrels please get better proprioception. RIP squirrel. Train as a ninja next time maybe.

"Your hopes and dreams. Diffusion."

I need to get absorbed in a good book. Something to really distract... the kind that even when put down is still happening. Suggestions?
On an entirely different note how good is popcorn chicken?? I had a pretty dreary crappy day today at work and ate a few pieces of popcorn chicken... Ok so, I ate a small bucket of the stuff and found that those things truly bring some dazzle to the day. Seriously my entire day was better and I started dreaming up these plants where popcorn chicken grows like raspberries; ready to be plucked and popped in a mouth that was having a dreary day so that after chewing that little piece of meat the mouth could exclaim "how wonderful popcorn chicken for you to be there on that bush waiting to make me happy". These are things I thought. In fact popcorn chicken is kind of like a speculative fiction book which makes me come to the conclusion that I wish Margaret Atwood would hurry up and write the next book of her series. Perhaps I'll read the Harry Potter series double agains.

heeeeey bear. hey bear.

Today I am going to be in the land of the midnight sun and I cannot wait to get re-acquainted with Sterling, AK. Living in a city for two years now calls for desperate measures of escape into nature; and there is no better extreme than to go to the last frontier itself. So for the next two weeks I will be singing songs of Alaska's troubadour Hobo Jim while holding a fishing rod in one hand and a beer in the other. I am thrilled!!

Lesson

If you ever see a golf ball on the beach do not kick it. It will bounce off a rock and hit you in the face.

Wizaaaahrd

The other night Voldemort tried to crawl through my window. I had no feelings of hesitation. I did not panic or freeze. My only reaction was to shout ‘Stupefy”! After I took a moment to assess my surroundings I realized that Voldemort wasn’t in fact trying break in. What I mistook as an attack from he-who-must-not-be-named was in actuality some rain and thunder tapping on my window. The next day I told Franny about my midnight wizarding adventure and she affirmed my action. I did the right thing. If Voldemort really had been crawling through my window he would have been left stupefied due to my instinctive spell execution. The only thing I had on the line was my dignity. And I would take feeling foolish over letting Voldemort Avada Kedavra my ass any day.

Meet my new biffy

His name is Tobin Bridge. When we hang out Tobin never makes fun of my singing or dancing; in fact he encourages it. He especially loves when I bust out a great ballad. Tobin is a great listener and always affirms me. We agree on things like the benefits of time travel and the importance of hot black coffee no matter the real feel temperature predicted for the day. We both appreciate the smell of a good book. Tobin makes me excited to be going wherever I am going in that moment. He can be tricky and mischievous; but apologized big time when I got in that fender bender. It wasn’t really his fault anyways I was in a rush. Now every time I get to hang out with Tobin I appreciate each foot of the 1,525 feet of Tobin. You can see we are great friends.

This is time travel and my limit

I have not had social interaction for the past 168 hours. Wait wait. That is wrong. I think it is more like 68 hours. In fact I have actually interacted socially quite a bit. But these instances of human interaction have been very abnormal. And my own ability to communicate is steadily declining. I can tell even by the way I am typing. I believe the main cause of my current disposition is due to working 48 hours straight. The hours have indeed pushed me to my limit. And that limit is maine. Literally. So to those of you who I will be traveling with me in the morning. I apologize if my brain takes a while to pick up on proper social cues. I may make inappropriate topic transitions and say things out of context. Here is a conversation I just had:
Client: Do you believe in beings on other planets.
Me: Can they time travel?
Client: Well God created them.
Me: What was that? The wind. Ha.
Client: Well who locked the keys in the car?
Me: The wind. Ha. And how about the weather? In maine?

Now that I re-read my conversation I am realizing this is probably how I converse regularly. But most probably it is not very appropriate for work and it is also a bad sign that I am starting to use client idioms. Very bad. I look forward for tomorrow when awkward confabbing is appropriate and encouraged. Wine will be nice too.